brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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