real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
