I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
