i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
