Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
