need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
