Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
