So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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