Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
