At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
