Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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