Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pooping to opera.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
