Whod you bang
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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