I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
