I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
love makes seman taste better
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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