dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
