how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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