Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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