U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
