i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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