he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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