I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
