you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
