My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
