come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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