sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
