Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
