i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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