you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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