I'm gonna have a badass scar
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
