Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
