I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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