do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
