even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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