it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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