perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
