question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
