brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
