i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
