what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
