We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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