Duck Duck Cougar?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
