my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
