How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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