If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
