Just cropdusted the office
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
