I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
