That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
