eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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