I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
