I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
